The Dearth of Mavericks

or: Where Have The Rock 'N Rollers Gone?

Fucking Simon Fuller.

The guy, I will grudgingly concede, is pretty smart and has certainly spun a considerable amount of success for himself out of a really very simple idea for a show.

Yes, he's the guy behind Pop Idol and American Idol. He's the guy who, directly or indirectly, is responsible for the success of Girls Aloud, Simon Cowell, Leona Lewis, Will Young, Kelly Clarkson, Susan Boyle, Hear'Say, Liberty X, and all those others, as well as being the creator of The Spice Girls, S Club and their spin-offs. It's fair to say he has been a bigger influence on the landscape of music over the past decade and a bit than almost anybody else.

He highlights something that people always seem to forget about the music industry too; it's not just about the music - it's also about the industry. The labels are businesses who're releasing records not for fun, but because they're trying to make money. Any artist whose only focus is art will likely produce some brilliantly inventive sounds that will sadly probably be borderline unlistenable and will sell zero copies. The true skill in the industry is to do something that satisfies both your artistic drives and the monetary necessities of making music as a job.

So, yes, I don't think Simon Fuller is the devil or anything. He has, however, been responsible for a cultural shift in music (along with others such as Cowell). A shift you have doubtless noticed and made fun of, without ever really asking "Why?"

The Dolly Rockers provide an unusually perfect illustration of this. Their image is of three slightly deranged, opinionated, and occasionally drunk young women. Like a hen party with no bride or shitty matching t-shirts with their names on them. I have seen them in the flesh drinking (and getting a bit, well, gropey, not that I was complaining) and can confirm that that's only a slight exaggeration of what they're like.

Three years ago though, they were on X Factor, and instead we got three quiet, demure ladies, all bright-eyed and innocent. So how come they're so different now? They were faking it. As they told Peter Paphides in his Times article, that damn Sharon Osborne advised them to tone it down.

Sharon Osborne.

HER HUSBAND BIT THE HEAD OFF A BAT, SNORTED ANTS AND PISSED ON THE ALAMO! SHE MADE MILLIONS THOUGH ALLOWING CAMERAS TO FILM THE STREAM OF SWEARING AND DOGS SHITTING EVERYWHERE THAT WAS HER FAMILY HOME. WHO THE FUCK IS SHE TO TELL ANYONE TO FUCKING TONE IT DOWN?

This is what the machine of the music industry does to so many artists. It is aiming to sell as many records as it can. In these times of change, where the internet and some shockingly bad decisions about how to deal with it (I would so have just bought Napster back in 2000 if I was in charge of a record label, then worked out how to monetise it afterwards) is completely screwing the business model, they don't feel they can take the chances they once did. Any wild-cards need reigning in, media-training, and made into something as many people as possible can like, or at least find inoffensive.

Picture Leona winning X Factor. "Oh my God. I just can't believe it. It's like a dream come true." Can't be bothered looking up what the exact quote was. Who cares? It was bland and boring and clichéd. All the winner's reactions have been. I don't think Alexandra Burke is ever going to do anything more rock and roll than raiding the minibar for some M&Ms when she's supposed to be on a diet.

Even Little Boots, who's my favourite, seems to be holding back a bit these days I'm sad to say. Her early bulletins definitely had more verve and vitriol and I dearly hope she can get back to that once she's put a few more singles out and established herself a bit. I don't blame her either; this is just the nature of the game today.

And yet. And yet there's Lilly Allen, who's founded her career on precisely two things; good inventive music and not giving too much of a fuck about anything. Amy Winehouse is a substantially more extreme version of this story. Really talented writer and performer, complete fuckup. And then there's that wanker Pete Doherty. Don't Look Back Into The Sun was quite good (though, really, the self-consciously low-fi faux-shitty nature of the recording is labouring the indie-credentials) but that was in 2003. The guy hasn't done a damn thing that was worthwhile in the intervening time, preferring instead to act like a bell-end and a smackhead, occasionally making puppy-dog eyes for a photo shoot, and yet he's remained in the public eye and is no doubt still making money from the situation. The twat.

Is this really it? Is this really the legacy of a national music scene that produced Keith Richards, Ozzy, Jonny Rotten and Lemmy? Great musicians who also knew how to behave like rock-stars. The mavericks, the brilliant dangerous bastards who were entertaining even when they weren't stood in front of a crowd being paid to entertain. And don't think this is the territory of ancient history either; one of the biggest influences on not just my music but my entire life has been The KLF. Inventive, anarchic, self-deconstructive (see The Manual); they fired blanks from a machine gun at the BRIT Awards audience and dumped a dead sheep in the foyer. And their songs? Wow. They deleted their back-catalogue but I'm sure you can find a copy of them. Look up Last Train To Trancentral or 3AM Eternal or It's Grim Up North (which mentions my hometown BTW) or America. They really stretched the definition of what could be a hit single way beyond what anyone seemed to think was possible.

Where are the artists like this in 2009? Lilly Allen seems to be about the only really successful musician keeping the flame alive, and only just. I feel like there's clearly a gap in the market for an act that doesn't just make good music but grabs the audience, connects with them in an honest, sometimes visceral, and occasionally brutal way. An act who is both accessible and still elite, and who will raise hell so that other people can experience Rock n Roll vicariously, thrilling to each act of chaos. Could it be me? Well, I know how to get drunk, party, and get into trouble. I know how to talk shit and run my mouth, but is it more than that? I suspect it's something you don't know until you try. No wonder people say "X" is the new Rock N Roll; all the Rock n Rollers are too pussy-whipped to try anything exciting. And this is Simon Fuller's legacy; he has focused the industry upon reliable returns and bland, unchallenging music in a way it has never been before.

I just want a few more artists to take a chance, stick two fingers up, empty the mini-bar of booze and throw it off the roof (TVs through the window has been done), then make some music that's genuinely brilliant.

Seej 500

Yorkshire, UK, June 2009